“Change the way you see things, and the things you see will change” – Wayne Dyer
Upon reflecting on those words, I am inclined to believe that our individual perception of our own world varies greatly from one person to the next. I bet that, if we were given the opportunity to walk in someone else’s shoes for one day, we would experience a world so foreign and distant from our own, we may realize that we should not make assumptions of others, or be so harsh in our judgments of them. One simple change in how we see the situations we are faced with, how we perceive other people, and/or how we view ourselves can make an extreme difference in our lives, and in the lives of those around us. ALSO, it WILL trigger additional changes in us… POSITIVE CHANGES. I promise!
At some point in my adult life, I recognized that I held onto what others thought of me; and, not just held onto… I was masquerading around identifying as the character I thought others thought I was. I did this based on my perceptions of what I thought they thought of me, and how I thought they perceived me. Wow, that can get complicated! And, let me tell you, I never thought about the good things people would say to me, or about me, when I was “reflecting” on myself “according to others”. I allowed their judgments and perceptions to determine how I perceived myself, and it wasn’t appealing. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t pretty enough… I was NOT… ENOUGH. This type of circular, self-deprecated way of thinking complicated my life. It made me not like ME. It made me constantly judge myself, and think I was less than others. It made me doubt who I was. It made me feel bad… in general.
In a recent conversation with a close friend of mine, I was reminded that when people are used to seeing the world with a negative view, it makes it extremely difficult for them to see any good or anything positive… anywhere! I.e., in others, themselves, or in most of the situations they are faced with. If you know someone like this, you may know there are many life experiences that can condition a person to perceive the world as they do. So, any change in them must be an internal change that they recognize needs to happen in order for their lives to improve. As much as we want to, we cannot do it for them. But, we can do it for ourselves, and we can tell them what worked for us… if they ask.
I am going to tell you something that you may agree with, or you may not like, want to hear, or know what to do with once you read it, but here goes: Get out of your head. Stop thinking so much. You know you do it! We all do! I know.. easier said than done. But, staying in your head and thinking too much only hurts you, and potentially others, if you consistently perceive the world with your negative goggles on… Yes. I am referring to abstract eye-wear that makes you view the world in a negative way. Take them off! Part of healing is letting go. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be free from whatever it is that is bothering you. You are a good person. No! An AMAZING person! Try to let go of something RIGHT NOW that has been bothering you (I am not asking you to let go of everything at once if you feel overwhelmed by that statement, just one thing… let go of one thing. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is). Are you still angry with your sister for that thing she said at Thanksgiving? OR Is there something you have been carrying negative feelings about for as long as you can remember? When you truly let go of things that are hurting or bothering you, they don’t have the power to hurt or bother you anymore; they can’t define who you are. AND, a side effect is… what others think of you won’t matter as much. In other words, the more you let go, the less THEIR thoughts, and what you think they think will matter.
I know in some moments, it seems like the issues we are faced with are so serious, and they deserve all of our attention and focus… but, what excuse will we have tomorrow when we are looking for another reason not to let go. It’s OK to Lighten up. YES! Life is difficult! YES! We are faced with tough decisions and hardships! YES! This life downright sucks sometimes! But, it will pass. Let it go. Let go of the sadness. Let go of the hurt. Let go of the ego that has attached itself to you. Don’t forget about the past… that is not what I am suggesting at all. But, the negative feelings you have associated with the past… let go of those. REMEMBER your past! It made you who you are. But, do your best to let go of any negative feelings you have toward yourself, others, your situation… your past… whatever it is… and you will experience a change that may have seemed impossible only moments ago. Experience the freedom of Letting Go.